You are Invited...

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines crazy as conceived or made without regard for reason or reality.

Thesaurus.com  lists the following, in addition to others, as synonyms for crazy:  batty, berserk, bonkers, cracked, cuckoo, delirious, fanciful, idiotic, insane, kooky, lunatic, mad, nutty, of unsound mind, out of one's mind, screw loose.

I do believe "Jeanette planning, preparing, cooking, and serving her first ever American Thanksgiving dinner to her boyfriend's Papua New Guinean family" will be new additions to both writing resources this year.

Now that those of you who know me well have picked yourselves up off the floor and the fits of laughter have subsided, let me clear up any confusion.  Yes, what you just read is a fully accurate and 100% true statement.  I will be hosting an Ikosi Family Thanksgiving. 

After sending a flurry of emails to many of my wonderful friends who (1) know their way around a kitchen and (2) are fully knowledgable of my inability to accomplish anything more difficult than replating take out from a plethera of excellent asian food restaurants, I have compiled a Thanksgiving menu. 

The first challenge in selecting dishes for the meal was remembering my lack of skills in the kitchen.  After pursuing through a few recipes, my feet left the ground and I truly believed I was nearly a world class chef with the ability to combine two turkey recipes to create my own masterpiece. 

Challenge number two began when selecting recipes in which all of the ingredients would be easily accessible here in Papua New Guinea.  Although I am certain I can bake spiced sweet potato wedges as it only involves slicing and tossing the wedges in a mix of spices, the sweet potatoes here are not the same as those at home and the end product would be quite bland.

The third of many challenges was met when realizing the sheer mass of people I'd be cooking for.  The number of immediate members in the Ikosi family would equate to the same numbers most of us include our closest extended family members, at the very least.  All five brothers, at least two of the three sisters, a partner, both parents, a couple of toddlers...I will be cooking for at least ten people, not including children, those that are definite on attending, or the other family I have invited (there are only five of them thank goodness!).  Oh, yeah, and me too!  The largest turkey one can acquire in Papua New Guinea is 4.5 kilograms which equates to nearly ten pounds.  The general rule, according RealSimple.com, is approximately one pound of turkey per person.   According to Butterball.com, I need at least twenty pounds of turkey - more if I want leftovers.  (I have done my research!)  Considering I will be feeding three boys between the ages of 15 - 21, one of which I have seen put back half of a lasagna on his own in one sitting, I'm leaning more toward the Butterball recommendation - two turkeys it is.  Do I need a ham as well???

Now, just to ease the stress a bit, I do have support (as it will be absolutely essential in not sending the Ikosi family home with stomach pains and vomiting shortly after the meal).  Those of you who know me well most likely just sighed in relief - primarily for the Ikosi family.  Tidman will be supervising and assisting in all food preparations.   Not because I asked him to or he offered, but due to the fact that it is absolutely necessary in order to make this fanciful dream I have of a creating a delicious Thanksgiving meal.

While walking through Boroko FoodWorld this weekend, Tidman very calmly looks at me and began to lay out the success criteria needed for us to not kill each other while cooking this massive feast.  He gently reminded me of the early hour we will have to wake up in order to have the time to prepare this meal for his family, while also pointing out the two "Go Pinis" (go finish in Pidgin, going away) parties we are attending on Saturday.  Tidman then double checks to ensure I have chosen recipes in which I have confidence in my ability to cook and gives another gentle reminder that he is there to assist, not to cook.  He then states in such a positive way that he is excited about how "we" are going to stay positive and happy throughout the entire cooking experience and "we" are not going to give up and leave "one of us" to do all of the cooking.  He also let me know that "we" will work very hard to not raise "our" voice at the other "one of us".  (Read: "we" and "our" are Jeanette and "one of us" is Tidman.)  He asked at the end of the conversation if I thought we should grab a few bottles of wine...

Although Thanksgiving is being celebrated today in the United States, the Ikosi Family Thanksgiving has been pushed back to Sunday, December 4.  I figure, we're in Papua New Guinea - we should work on PNG time (also two of the boys are in Australia at the moment on a school trip).  This will be just enough time to stress and continue to question why I ever thought myself capable of brining a turkey, mashing potatoes into something yummy, creating a squash soup, or baking any sort of anything.

Crazy.  Absolutely batty.  Nutty.  Insane!

On a side note: If anyone has a (simple) to die for recipe I just must make, feel free to send it my way.  I am nearly a world-class chef, you know!